Ameru's blog

  (pic taken from  http://fc02.deviantart.com/fs46/f/2009/190/4/4/AMNOS__Colorful__by_kumoritan.png ) Today someone from my past suddenly came out of nowhere; however I feel rather happy than upset on hearing that person's voice. Rather surprising--considering how much hurt it costs when that person stranded me. And actually I did typically the same thing to someone that maybe loved me too after he's gone. And suddenly this thought came to my mind, "Hey, when we could communicate better when we've no connection, why don't everyone just become friends? I don't need to keep on pushing people to doing pretty much what they don't want..." Is this the answer what I've been looking for? It's not like we're not happy or something, but sometimes I think I become more and more demanding each and everyday.... and the communication doesn't swift (enough come in hand), especially when he's not around. If he couldn't come then that...

Beberapa waktu yang lalu saya menonton film The Lost Bladesman (coba lihat di http://www.sinema-21.com/movie-the-lost-bladesman-2011/) , salah satu film (lagi) yang berlatar Jaman Tiga Kerajaan ( Samkok / The Romance of Three Kingdoms ) di Cina. Film ini menampilkan dilema Guan Yu antara tetap dengan Tsao Tsao/Cao Cao atau kembali kepada Liu Bei. Entah kenapa film ini beda karena menampilkan sifat Cao Cao yang terkesan wise dan sederhana (ada adegan macul-macul segala...@___@), imej yang sangat berbeda dari yang terpapar dalam Red Cliff dan Red Cliff II ataupun di cerita manga Legenda Naga yang menampilkan sebaliknya,Cao Cao yang ambisius , extravagant , dan berangasan ^o^;. Meski film ini di-rating jelek oleh banyak pihak, (5.8 / 10 di imdB misalnya), serta tidak begitu laku di pasaran--mungkin karena sulit dicerna dan membosankan bagi siapa-siapa yang tidak familiar dengan setting ceritanya ( samkok ), namun bagi saya cukup memberi pencerahan, karena dapat melihat kisah ini da...

I used to think that maybe this is the designated thing to be done...but somehow, something in my head keep on repeating saying that this is not fair. Though i know, i should be thankful for what i get, but this jealousy kept eating me alive. I hate to be treated unfair, since i know that actually i am the best in this ****, but yet given the least benefit of all. Do they really don't have budget....or they just want to eat more? Whatever.. I just don't enjoy this feeling of uneasyness. I hate it. I hate the way they promised one thing and then took it back...right on my face..at the time i already hopping for itn eagerly. And my solitude time would be last longer than i expected. Screw them..screw the authorihy. And hey...what did i expected anyway?? Should've known better that this would obviously be the outcome.

I glanced at my watch: 19:16 pm. I'm here, sit by myself in a cafe sort-like, sipping my cold milo and staring at my laptop. Only got about a half hour to keep the battery running, since my thing is not that highly durable. (a low-edge technology). I ordered two kinds of drinks, one is what i've been told before, and the other is a juice--pear juice. Three minutes had past since I first wrote this note. I've been waiting for my family to pick me up since about an hour ago. Got a lot of luggage with me, one BIG heavy loaded pack, and a smaller one. The big one filled with my comics and books....while the other tucked with piles of snacks (ones that we called " oleh-oleh "....an Indonesian tradition that quite come unhandy for times like this. 19:24... still here...waiting. The restaurant where I'm sitting already packed with people. I took a table right under the aircon, but not a slightest feel of coolness had came upon me. A bunch of army-men sitting on a tab...

It's almost time for my ultimate dream to be emanated. The thrill went up here to my spine and made me almost deliberately lost my mind. Honestly, this is exactly what I felt about almost two and a half years ago--though this time maybe I felt a li'l bit more excited and secured (!) But hell, still there're doubts inside of me. Can't win these feelings over since obviously i'm not that "charming" at all. I hope anything from my past don't bring any jinx over what becoming of today--the manifesto of my childhood dream. Eternally (like I've been feeling like this forever ^__^;), ever since I can set any dream place to be, I decided that that place will be a place that somehow I can anchored to, even if it's only for a short time. That place, and the other place are where all my dreams went to. Dear God, please relinquish my dream into reality. Amen.

"Hey, kayanya mouthwash kita cepet habis ya...??" "Eh,iya...aku baru aja mo ngajakin kamu beli lagi..." "Lho? kirain kamu yang ngabisin..." "Lah??" .... (Kami berdua terdiam) Terlintas langsung beberapa bulan yang lalu, saat teman saya itu baru beberapa hari tinggal di kosan ini. Hp-nya raib, hanya beberapa menit saat dia tinggal mandi! Tersangkanya? Well, ada satu makhluk ini--bawaan dari anak kos baru juga. Entah dia sodaranya, ato pacarnya, kami ga tau. Tapi yang jelas dia tinggal tiap hari di situ, di kamar yang jelas-jelas disewa untuk satu orang itu. Dan well, siang hari, pas cewenya itu kerja, dia suka bawa cewe lain ke kamar... ( what the??? ) dan gelagatnya mencurigakan (ga kaya berteman...) Hmm.. terlepas dari gaya sok Don Juan or Casanova kacangan dari makhluk itu (yang ganteng juga ga, kaya apalagi, tapi klepto and ngepul kaya lokomotif jaman jebot), dia seenaknya make kamar mandi yang saya share bareng temen saya itu (di sini 2 k...

This song is an OST of an anime, 5 cm per second: a chain of short stories about their distance [ 秒速5センチメートル: アチェインオブショートストリーズアバウトゼアディスタンス , Byōsoku Go Senchimētoru: a chein obu shōto sutorīzu abauto zea disutansu ]. The anime somehow leaves a deep impression on me, about how a love or your life can't always be had. Distance will always be a problem. Although you've put your greatest effort to keep your feelings for your lover, the space between you and him/her still can't be fought. ONE MORE TIME, ONE MORE CHANCE (Masayoshi Yamazaki) _________________________________________________ kore ijyou nani wo ushinaeba kokoro wa yurusareru no dore hodo no itaminaraba mou ichido kimi ni aeru One more time kisetsuyo utsurowanaide One more time fuzakeatta jikan yo If I lose any more than this, will my heart be forgiven How much pain before I can see you again One more time, please don't change the season One more time to the time when we fool around kui...