Ameru's blog

Eversince I was a child, as far as I can remember, my parents (esp. my mother) always told me the sole importance of being a woman is to be someone's wife (!) and bear his child (!!). You know, it's indeed imprinted deeply in my mind, since I was three years old that my existence only verified by me being a perfect girl and mother. And what makes it worse, I always told that no matter what, we have to have a girl as a successor--well our tribe is matrilineal. I was raised to belief this. My life isn't exactly Shakespeare's, yet it's kinda full of tragedy and unexpected turns. See, these things aren't good for young minds since one cannot be free from the aim for being someone's wife (!!!) and I've dated guys with no intention on getting married anytime soon. So yeah, it was chaotic. I was too naïve to read the situation back then and have no guidance from my parents--they're strict and conservative, still are up 'till now. No way they will give...

  Day 9 of 30 days writing challenge. Happiness I am everything but happy right now, I'm sorry. Not really in the mood to talk about happiness so today we'll be off topic. Not happy now. Just heard a heartbreaking news about work-related stuff, and the feel of rejection is similar with the one that I felt during my apprenticeship year, when I heard that my Studio Coordinator gave me an E so I have to do another year again (8 hours credits do it another year, he hated me gut and my window shape , so yeah I'm screwed). Always thought that drawing buildings isn't my thing, but I stuck there nonetheless. Come to think of it, my undergrad years were full of sh*t and sadness, there's always this lecturer that hated your design. And you felt like crap). I cried back then, on the rooftop of RRI building where my project management took place. I'm not always bright, I've been through hell. And it's not sweet. Anyways, I'm not unfamiliar with this kind of f...