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2 weeks before becoming a Mrs. (my Timbuctu-logy)

Can't believe finally getting married. Not that I want to (like really want to) but kinda must to. It's like trying to walk a pathway to Timbuctu from Jakarta, bare-feet.


The [perception] on how an unmarried woman remains as she is tickled the society more than it's supposed to be--forcing both parents to drag her into marriage life. Single woman means: unworthy, unlikable (by men), old-maid/hag, unhappy, and so on (you could add this list until forever if you get my point). Even your supposed-to-be-supportive-same-gender-parent (name it: Mom) forces you more into marrying any guy (like literally any Martian there is, as long as you won't be on your own) if you don't have your own.

What I am trying to say is being single is not an option, especially if you are a woman and getting closer to your thirties. The tension become more and more severe along with time, while all (well not all, but just some or i  must say most on facebook) put on their pics of marriage (and later on reddish newborns (!) and toddlers) into the newsfeed and brag about it all (like the infants mobbed the whole network!). Not to mention all those stupid nosy relatives keep on asking how much longer will you wait until you settle down, something that's supposed to be not their concern!

The tension even spread out into your friendship's circle; friends become frenemies or rivals (?), kick each others' butt into entering the domestic ordeal--you lost your besties thanks to this (as a reference see the movie of Bridewars, totally capture this!), each acting as if they were the drama kings and queens. And you alone, struggling into acceptance which is blurred and Utopian  with no friends and no family (they're not really felt as family since they became hostile and angry all the time, again thanks to the tension we all created by ourselves). This is tiring. I want to get over this somehow.. and maybe can get real friends?

....

I think the torment's just begun.
There's still parenting life you know, if there's any. (yikes!)


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