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How to Ghibli?

That time of the year, again.

Why can't life be more like Ghibli's aesthetics?

It has been a while for me to be in my 30s, and soon I will be turning 40. What will one expect when one turns into a 40-year-old woman? 

Why can't life be like Ghibli's slice of life feature films? Why can't we find ideal love like in those movies? 3 years ago today I still can't imagine that I finally found out that my (back then) spouse was a serial cheater, a swinger, and an avid liar. My whole life was crumbled, and my mind went crazy, like literally mad (will tell this someday when I'm ready). And briefly after that, I met a random guy, got married again in such a short time, and have a baby not long after. Back then, no one really cares about how I feel inside, my messed up mind is still there up until now. So, what to do?

Seiji and Shizuku in Whisper of the Heart (1995)
Source: Whisper of the Heart (https://www.cinemaescapist.com/2014/11/whisper-of-the-heart/ & https://japanesestation.com/anime-manga/anime/whisper-of-the-heart-live-action-dari-studio-ghibli-ditunda-penayangannya)

Looking at how happy Shizuku and Seiji in Whisper of the Heart, and how Taeko finally found her true happiness in the suburbs on Only Yesterday, how come we not envy Ghibli's aesthetics of ideal love and life? The fact that our own ideals on love is set on these characters makes it hard to be fulfilled for the life we have now. I mean, how lucky will we be to be as strong-willed as those female leads and find true love with those male leads? 

Taeko and Toshio in Only Yesterday (1991)
Source: https://opuszine.us/posts/final-scene-studio-ghibli-only-yesterday-perfect

Almost 40, I don't think I'm living a life of that of Ghibli, it's more like horror movie + cheap B-class K-Drama with lots of plot twist yet no one wants to watch. I've wasted more than a decade of my life looking for--and stay with a repulsive guy. And if you ask me why I did that, it's just because my parents are boomers. If you know how boomers control and ruin your lives, congratz, most probably you're a broken Millennial like me. And why these labelling matters? of course because the traits of generations are real, at least from my POV that is. And as for now, let me enjoy a few months before my 40's birthday contemplating and maybe questioning why I'm such a people pleaser. Maybe someday it's my turn to make myself happy.  



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