Human and envy

Have you noticed before that your newsfeeds on your so-called social media like facebook and such were all filled with competitions?

People just bragging about how important their lives are, each and every day, makes you sick inside. The peculiar thing is, you can't really cut loose from those media, since you're already ingested, intoxicated, and become addicted severely to them. On behalf of yourself you began to pay them back by bragging back 'bout yourself. At first you'd feel content, but after a while you tend to realize how rubbish you are, and how rubbish the people you know are. You started to questioning yourself, "what the hell am i doing here???" but still you lingered there. I dunno until when, but never felt this empty before.

No one really cared, they don't even remembered your birthday anymore. I'm not putting mine on reminder this year, perhaps some people would actually still care. (yeah...)

And, from time to time, I began to wonder 'bout my empathy and humanity. Just now, someone told me that his sister is expecting a child, but I just can't bear to congratz him (or his sister) due to the fact that I considered her sister as a f*cking b*tch. Why? that someone's supposed to, let say, marry me, if only he had the money that oh, by the way, "lent" by her sister for, i dunno, let say, FOREVER??? How could you congratz someone like that?

Am I sound envious to you?

Well, perhaps, I am. And i'm pissed, coz that money maybe gone forever, and I'm starting to wonder will this guy ever gonna marry me? Maybe I screwed with my karma badly that I put jinx over myself. And, hey, people say that when a guy doesn't want to marry you (for any f*cking crappy reasons), then his not really love "love" you. So, all these times, everything with everyone were all packs of lies and bullshit. F*cking hilarious.

I wanna be somewhere tropical now...God. Here's too cold and I'm freakin' lonely.
I hate that b*tch and her happiness. Screw her.