Ameru's blog

Do I have a life? What do I expect now, knowing the fact that I am as useless as I was yesterday ? It seems harder and harder my days here. I admit it, I've been enjoying the travelling around part, the laughter, the joy of skipping the duties from workdays. But the fun part seemed to ceased now. I feel more useless, smaller and insignificant now. Feel dumb, boxed by my own perspective of how I could change anything (at all) while in fact I can't even change my self. The other fact I know is no matter how hard you've tried, at some point there always be a bitter-sweet result (or should I said just the "bitter" one?) of realizing that I, and only I served as the stupidest person alive. What should you do, being the lowest of the caste--growling, and scavenging around in someone else's dumpsters. I feel down, Blue, or maybe red .

                                                                                                                              http://birokrasi.kompasiana.com/2011/12/01/kampanye-adu-domba-subsidi-bbm/ Harga minyak dunia yang terus melambung dan pemerintah tetap "dipaksa" untuk mempertahankan subsidi? Sama aja bunuh diri! Sejarah membuktikan bahwa sesungguhnya subsidi BBM tidak memiliki andil langsung terhadap pertumbuhan ekonomi suatu negara. Dikatakan bahwa Turki, negara dengan harga BBM termahal di dunia, memiliki tingkat pertumbuhan ekonomi yang cukup stabil, meskipun tanpa subsidi BBM.  Perhatikan tabel di bawah ini: (Koplow, Kretzman 2010) S...

Indonesia, tanah airku Tanah tumpah darahku Disanalah aku berdiri Jadi pandu ibuku Indonesia kebangsaanku Bangsa dan tanah airku Marilah kita berseru, "Indonesia bersatu." Hiduplah tanahku, Hiduplah Negriku, Bangsaku, Rakyatku, Semuanya Bangunlah jiwanya, Bangunlah raganya, Untuk Indonesia Raya Indonesia Raya, Merdeka! Merdeka! Tanahku, Negeriku, Yang kucinta Indonesia Raya, Merdeka! Merdeka! Hiduplah Indonesia Raya Indonesia Raya, Merdeka! Merdeka! Tanahku, Negeriku, Yang kucinta Indonesia Raya, Merdeka! Merdeka! Hiduplah Indonesia Raya __________ Indonesia, tanah yang mulia, Tanah kita yang kaya, Di sanalah aku berdiri, Untuk s'lama-lamanya. Indonesia, tanah pusaka, P'saka kita semuanya, Marilah kita mendoa, Indonesia bahagia. Suburlah tanahnya, Suburlah jiwanya, Bangsanya, Rakyatnya, semuanya, Sadarlah hatinya, Sadarlah budinya, Untuk Indonesia Raya Indones...

                                                                                                                                                              http://www.squidoo.com/History-of-Plumbing Merasa familiar dengan gambar seperti ini? Dimanakah ini? Jakarta? Bukan! Ini London , pada jaman revolusi Industri. London dan Inggris atau negara-negara maju lainnya tidak serta-merta jadi rapi dan kaya seperti sekarang ini. Mereka butuh waktu, butuh proses, butuh merusak alam (dan bahkan butuh menjajah negara lain) untuk bisa sampai pada posisi mereka sekarang. Poverty and squalor - Blue G...

                                                Setiap hari pasti selalu ada aja yang nyangkut di kepala, segala pikiran negatif yang bercokol dan gak mau lepas. Apalagi dua hari ini, sejak nilai semester kemarin diumumin, rasanya kok ya makin ga semangat...? (tapi semangat jalan-jalan tetep...T_T). Mau nangis rasanya kalo liat text book yang bertumpuk plus donlotan jurnal yang ga dibaca-baca (cuman ngedonlot doank, bacanya tau dah kapan...). Hah....kayanya masa-masa jadi nerd yang suka dan cinta untuk belajar udah jauh lewat deh, malah mungkin berhentinya prematur pas awal kelas dua SMA. Abis itu blasss ga doyan blajar...dan ga ngerasa guna juga belajar. *(Mungkin ini bukan contoh yang baik ya... hohoho...seharusnya saya bisa lebih semangat, tapi entah kenapa sekarang rasanya makin ga pengen ngeliat si text book-text book itu..pengen muntah bawaannya...!) OOT dikit...

 Hari ini hari pertama di umur 28. Wow. 28! Ga kebayang, umur segini, single , kuliah di luar, pusing (kayanya kena flu), ngerasa bersalah karena ga pernah baca buku literatur dengan baik dan benar, dan stress karena besok nilai semester 1 keluar ! Ya Tuhan...jangan-jangan sakit kepala dan demam pertama saya di negeri ini karena stress ya??? Hari ini ditegor sama orang Arab temen sekelas gara-gara berisik pas kuliah... (Abis kuliahnya garing...dan sangat-sangat western minded. Para orang-orang Inggris yang nanya juga ngomongnya kumur-kumur, ga ngerti mereka nanya apa, dan ga ngerti dosennya jawab apa!!!) Apa spanning di kepala ini lagi parah-parahnya ya? FYI, arab-arab disini gayanya selangit, sotoy ga ketulungan, underestimate -in orang abis-abisan... bikin ilfil banget dah. Ga ada hubungannya tuh seagama apa ga, toh kalo ditanyain mereka jawabnya, "Well, I am a Moslem, but I'm not religious..." yang kira-kira artinya: "Saya Muslim kok, cuman saya minum, makan bab...

いつもそうよ 拗ねると君は 私の大事な物を隠すでしょ その場所は決まって同じだから 今日は先に行って待ってみるわ 季節たちが夕日を連れて来て 影が私を見つけて延びる... Itsumo sou yo. Suneru to kimi wa. Watashi no daiji na mono wo kakusu desho. Sono basho wa kimatte onaji dakara. Kyou wa saki ni itte matte miru wa. Kisetsutachi ga yuuhi wo tsurete kite Kage ga watashi wo mitsukete nobiru… It's always been like that You'd be peevish And hide away what's important to me, wouldn't you? And because those places where you’d hide them Would always be the same Today I’ll wait for you there first The seasons have brought along the evening sun And the shadows stretched and found me ビックリした顔で私をみつめては 急に口尖らせ「プイッ」と外見るの 「ごめんね」と言うと 「じゃあ、こっちに来てよ」と 「ねぇ、ほら見て見て 影が重なった...」 BIKKURI shita kao de watashi wo mitsumete wa Kyuu ni kuchi togarase PUItto soto miru no. Gomen ne. To iu to Jaa kocchi ni kite yo to Nee, hora mite mite Kage ga kasanatta… With a shocked expression on your face, you stared at me And suddenly your face turns sour, you look as if you're pouting When I...

They're talking 'bout social equity while actually they're excluding people. Can you see the dilemma? All these talks and nonsense just beat around bushes and lead to nowhere. How could you talk about equity while in real life you discriminate people for how they look? Or how they sound? Or from the fact that they're maybe not as talkative as you, especially in talking idealistic perfect rubbish while in fact all you want to get is just a merely economical benefits of your scholar's degree, not more than that. All these nonsense would washed away eventually like a sand castle that you've built with all your strength and then just like that washed over by the shore. Or like a poor snowman, one you made from scratch but just eventually melted by the sun, if not smashed by someone. maybe I am that snowman, I just waited to be smashed...or melted. Deep inside I wished for winter forever, to kept frozen so that no one, or no sun could torn me apart. But eventually...

Setelah berharap dan berharap akankah salju turun musim dingin ini di Leeds, akhirnya impian jadi kenyataan. Hari itu, Sabtu, 4 Februari 2012 salju turun dengan lebatnya di Leeds , ibukota daerah West Yorkshire , Inggris. Namun sebenarnya hari itu kami tidak begitu yakin akan menemukan salju di Leeds, sehingga kami memutuskan untuk pergi berburu salju ke Peak District , tepatnya ke desa Castleton di South Yorkshire . Dari Leeds kami naek kereta api sekitar 1 jam-an menuju ke Sheffield, ibukota dari South Yorkshire. Sepanjang perjalanan, sempat terpikir apakah perjalanan kami akan sia-sia apabila salju tak jua kami temukan di Castleton, namun niat kami luruskan dan kami pun sampai di Sheffield. Jadwal bis ke Castleton masih 45 menit lagi, sehingga kami sempatkan membeli makan siang di Sainsburry , sejenis local store atau toserba yang menjual berbagai macam barang keperluan harian. Kami pun kembali ke terminal bis dan menunggu bis ke Castleton. Dalam perjalanan, seorang teman di ...

Why is it always a problem on wearing something which is uncommon somewhere? I never object of people piercing, dyeing, or tattooing any parts of their body, or even undressed at all. So why bother with my head-cover? You see, it's not something that men in my religion force women to wear in order to surpress our freedom, it is most likely act as an identity or filter for us, or maybe at least for me. A filter for me to stop a relationship (or maybe having casual sex) with people from different religion with me (but I have no feeling on doing casual sex with anyone at all, or object people who are doing this, since it's their option, not mine ). Simply not because I'm a racist, it's just in my country it's difficult to be with someone who's in different religion with you. So, this covering prevent me from getting into a wrong one. Why do I act like this? because I don't want a further problem in my life created by different perspective relationships. It w...

This opening picture is from a Romeo-Juliet kinda movie of the 70s, "Love Story" , one of my dad's fave. I've always wondered how is it like to be lived on the 60s or 70s.. Life seemed simpler back then. And since the consequences of the western's industrialisation hadn't been there yet at that time, then I guess there still no pollution, or melted ice on North and South Poles, and my country was still somehow more rural in every way. I'm not quite sure though, would I survive without blackberry, notebook, and internet? I didn't remember how I got addicted in the first place!!!! I'm in love with the oldies... And sometimes I felt that I'm stuck in those days... I love old movies, I love old songs, But I don't wear vintage clothes though. Yesterday, I went to a temporary exhibition in Leeds City Museum, displaying a lot of stuff from the 70s. I even try to do some cosplay there...with wig! lol The 70s are the era of my folks. Somehow they co...