They're talking 'bout social equity while actually they're excluding people. Can you see the dilemma? All these talks and nonsense just beat around bushes and lead to nowhere. How could you talk about equity while in real life you discriminate people for how they look? Or how they sound? Or from the fact that they're maybe not as talkative as you, especially in talking idealistic perfect rubbish while in fact all you want to get is just a merely economical benefits of your scholar's degree, not more than that. All these nonsense would washed away eventually like a sand castle that you've built with all your strength and then just like that washed over by the shore. Or like a poor snowman, one you made from scratch but just eventually melted by the sun, if not smashed by someone.
maybe I am that snowman, I just waited to be smashed...or melted. Deep inside I wished for winter forever, to kept frozen so that no one, or no sun could torn me apart. But eventually, I am just a nobody. Real nobody. I even can't talk my words out, and that felt like shit. Feel like rubbish, friggin bloody rubbish.
What do they expect me to do? What do I expect me to do? I feel so down... I need to pump myself up. I feel so useless right now. I don't even enjoy what I'm supposed to study here, it's not that fun anymore. Why do I keep on whining? Maybe it's just because I'm just way too pathetic to wake up.
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