Ameru's blog

Ingin sekedar berbagi cerita tentang perjalanan hidup sampai mendapatkan yang dinanti-nanti.  Alhamdulillah dua tahun slowdown karena pandemi membawa berkah. Setahun setelah menikah, kami dianugerahi seorang putri yang sangat kami sayangi. Perjalanan  mendapatkannya bisa dibilang tidak mudah. Akumulasi semua pengalaman sebelumnya, banyak rintangan yang dihadapi. Namun syukurlah Allah memberikan amanah kepada kami sekeluarga.  Berkah Habatussaudah Ternyata hadits Rasulullah tentang keutamaan Habatussaudah atau jinten hitam sebagai obat segala penyakit* benar adanya. Jinten hitam ini adalah faktor pembeda utama, selain suami yang sangat sabar dan waktu di rumah yang lebih panjang karena work from home (wfh) . Setelah menikah dengan suami yang penyabar ini, saya disarankan oleh adik saya untuk berikhtiar dengan cara mengkonsumsi 7 (tujuh) butir Habatussaudah/jinten hitam yang sudah disangrai dan madu setiap hari. Cukup tujuh butir, tidak perlu banyak-banyak karena Habatuss...

Being pregnant while you're on your late thirties wasn't something I really planned for. I was really skeptical before in terms of both my physical and mental condition and not really expecting this unexpected event.  But there she was, there in my belly. After a failed marriage I found a decent guy, with all of his imperfections and mine we weave our destiny together and God gave us our miraculous girl.  My mother told me how she was already planned on trying to get me to do the IVF but hesitate to do so since I wasn't really good at controlling emotions and stuff. And she was quite right since it's always been an issue and still, up until now. For our family, especially my mother, me having a girl is like an absolute must, if one might say so too. As me growing older and people start questioning (I hate how busy body people can be, while fact I spent most of my time avoiding people or meddling into their lives), some even said to my mom to get me an adopted child. It...

Eversince I was a child, as far as I can remember, my parents (esp. my mother) always told me the sole importance of being a woman is to be someone's wife (!) and bear his child (!!). You know, it's indeed imprinted deeply in my mind, since I was three years old that my existence only verified by me being a perfect girl and mother. And what makes it worse, I always told that no matter what, we have to have a girl as a successor--well our tribe is matrilineal. I was raised to belief this. My life isn't exactly Shakespeare's, yet it's kinda full of tragedy and unexpected turns. See, these things aren't good for young minds since one cannot be free from the aim for being someone's wife (!!!) and I've dated guys with no intention on getting married anytime soon. So yeah, it was chaotic. I was too naïve to read the situation back then and have no guidance from my parents--they're strict and conservative, still are up 'till now. No way they will give...

Honestly, as a human being, we're kinda used to be in a disappointing position. William Blake, an English Renaissance Poet, once said,  " It is easier to forgive an  enemy than to forgive a friend."  True, I've so many f×cked up friendship I lost count, and it is hard to mend broken relationship, let alone friendship. And also lovers, you can't possibly forgive the heartache just like that. But as people often say, time will heal everything. But what about your relationship with your workplace? Is it the same as having relationship with people?  Hardly even realised we spent too much time at our workplace , literally spending hours and hours of our lives just for the sake of gaining money, which eventually went down the drain as most only used for paying our bills. We spent most of our times for working. And with this kind of economy we're in it's even harder to be picky on what kind of work should we be in, or will it be good for our mental health or not,...

 Day 30 (final) of 30 days writing challenge When I Write Finally we come to the end of this challenge. It's been a long 30(+1) days (I skipped a day). When I write something in this blog, I rarely think about it. I just let it flow. Because it's kinda different with formal writing so I can let my mind roam freely .  Nonetheless, being forced to write in 30 days everyday proven to be a hardwork . How to keep being consistent and persistent for daily writing accordingly to schedule. Sometimes you don't have any energy left to write anything, so it's definitely hardwork. Anyways, I recall a day when somebody from my undergrad years (someone from the same year as I do, in the same lodging we're staying at my first year) telling off my spelling as wrong. I can still remember that, but the way that person telling off people wasn't really nice. At that point, I knew that studying any foreign language is not easy, and you can't mock people that learn any language...

    D ay 29 of 30 days writing challenge Future Plan I don't think I have a plan for a further future anymore. I used to have one, but since nothing came true after that particular time, I now accustomed to live my life day by day. Sure, there are p lanning ... ...but not for like a certain distant future. For example, I plan my grocery on a list, though not really sufficient as being called as planning. Actually my life now is quite unorganised , and my spouse's even more clueless than me. He doesn't have any plans for his life, or our lives. I don't have any plans for my life anymore. Lol. You see, most of the time I don't have any energy left for planning. I'm done planning. Even at work I have so many things I can't finish yet, and they kept on piling. People at work actually said I can't finish anything, well guess what, who can? (With that kind of work environment. Lol. You've got to be kidding me. Fxxx off). Those people are the worst, talking...