There's this hole, placed right in the middle of my chest. Sometimes the hole's getting bigger, sometimes it gets smaller. Most of the times, it's big enough to leave me numb. Never quite relieved from getting lost inside my mind. Most of the time, I felt weary and suffered tremendous pain, though can't really comprehend what and why. It's just that hole. It's like that hole gives me a default isolation, like I always feel lonely. No matter how I've tried, no matter where I am. I wonder was it always like this? Sure, nowadays I can feel happy. But like rollercoaster, my happiness fluctuations went crazy like hell and I can't really control it. I wish I can be really happy, like truly happy like a child. Like my naive self long long long before. I need to be happy. I want to be happy. Dear hole, please be kind. I want to be happy.
sometimes you just need to write down everything